hie,
I feel a lil strange to write to you...i dont know where do i start of, proceed and then conclude...my heart wants to pour out a lot...talk of my life, my dreams, aspirations, my sufferings, my anguish, my pain , my very being....thoughts, which have flown so easily out of my heart, today does not even find the right path to move....
i think no one on this earth has ever loved withouth getting hurt...it is a part and parcel of the relationship..i still cant believe that u have someone else in your life...someone who has become more dear to you than mee...i still dont believe that i am just a past for you now...
you are my lifeline even today...my world...my entire system...even today....i love you with all my heart...even today...when i cant touch you, hold you, kiss you, smell you, feel you, and perhaps love you...you have seized every right from mee....all i can do is sit here chained..and wish...wish i could change things they way they are...wish i cud be around to hold you in a stormy night...wish i cud be ur biggest support when u need...wish i cud make you smile even in the darkest hours of life...but i cant....my belief is shaken....i have no control over my life...not any longer i trust myself...
the day i fell in love with you i promised myself never to leave you alone... never leave you to the ravages of the world and never ever lonely...i shall weep your disappintments away and smile heartily at your rejoicing...everyday i wished to be by your side and make you feel that i care...
now i cant even see you or hear you...not even feel your presence...i cant tame my heart...it still loves you...it always will...i read somewhere "the most beautiful things in life are often the ones we cannot see...What makes the desert beautiful is the fact that it hides a well somewhere"...i do not want the world and its people to hurt you ever....mundane prosaicness are stored for myself...i trust you...i knw "my sri can never go wrong" (only if you allow mee to call you mine when am alone)... People haven’t learnt yet to rise above themselves...You certainly will...
I have knwn unbounded happiness when I have heard the thud of your heart....when i have sensed your breath..when i have felt your touch....I have throbbed with the pulse of life when you have lovingly looked into my eyes...I have survived days by the strength of the love we have borne each other and I have lived a life called “you”... you make such a difference to my life...with all your power...i smile when you smile...i cry when we dont speak...i live each day for you...and perhaps will sleep quietly now....
there is perhaps a small box in our head that holds all crapy memories...and it becomes alive when we are low...these memories, they make us feel as if everything has come to a halt...i have reached the edge of my life...if i stay i will die...if i jump i will die...i pray to the god of death to come by stealth and steal my breath away...it is such a moment when i like others have realized who matters, who never did, who wont anymore and who always will....and without whom i cant think...
I shall walk every step of your life with you even when my soul will rest in peace....my soul inseparably entwined with yours...
“My whole heart rises up to bless
Your name in pride and thankfulness!”
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