Thursday, March 27, 2008


Too long have I ceased myself from writing about my loneliness. It only increased my pain and did nothing else. I had been holding these feelings closely knit to my heart hugging my secrets… and have stretched my arms wide to embrace whatever the world had to offer… I succumbed to accept the rather MUNDANE, the MOMENTARY, the things that were served to me. I could hear my soul revolt, scream and after losing the battle cry…but I had to live to get that LOVE… for I wage this lonely battle for my most cherished ideal: for LOVE.

I have worship the feeling of LOVE for I respect the person I LOVE. Venerating it with passion and adoration, I hug it close to my soul, praising it beyond all others. I water Love with my tears giving my all to it. I keep losing my garb of humility and stand alone, severe yet proud. I fall in Love, once, twice, a million times with HIM.

I have surrendered to Love with complete abandon. I have no thought for my own happiness. I wish to ask HIM if HE wanted Love like I did; if HE knew the agony that this hunt entailed. I wonder what HE would say…My soul is at peace when I hear HIM talk. His words soak my spirit…

I know no one else who could feel Love and pain as intensely as I can. I always wanted LOVE to happen. I waited for it until I met HIM. It was a magic moment when we met… karmic bonding… I can walk through the driest desert, live without water; stand in cold throughout the night. I can take every trial one needs to go through to attain ecstasy; moksha; nirvana; deliverance.

He is just so perfect. Everything is perfect when he is around. Now I can’t settle for the less than perfect. I live for HIM. He is mu LOVE…like the shades of the sea, the aura of the sky...ever-changing, ever attractive…

Everyone asks me about the future…I don’t know the future…I have not seen the future… In times of need I reach to my past…I turn to my childhood, I seek solace in the dreams I had dreamt... ideals I believed.

Now-a-days I feel “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye”. “What makes the desert beautiful”, says the little prince “is that somewhere it hides a well.” My LOVE to holds a very special place in HIS heart for me…I can sense his presence in the world and that makes my life endearing...the world a mesmerizing place….


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